The Earth Vacuum : Part 1

The last time I drove Interstate 8 eastbound, Mario was my passenger. We were headed back after a NIN concert in September of 2005, and neither of us was in a very pleasant mood. The NIN drummer had a "panic attack" and the show was cancelled after about 2 songs. Whatever. Going up through the mountain pass between San Diego and the desert in the middle of the night may also have been better had I not sliced my finger open while reaching into my bag. My razor had shuffled loose from it's normal spot and it caught me right under the fingernail. No concert, no chapstick, and a bloody finger. I was pissed. Mario laughed like crazy while blood dripped from my finger down to my elbow before grabbing me a napkin out of the glovebox. We stopped to get some gas, he saw the damage and apologized for laughing so hard. (Which is something he'd do. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.) I put my brights on for most of the drive because we had zero company on the road. Going up and down through the mountains I criss-crossed the eastbound lanes and drifted around the highway like it was my own personal track. Kudos. After a bit we turned our bad moods on end with some good music and by me pushing the car. Mario commented on my speed, ever Mr. Cautious, "going over 110 won't get us home any faster there Speed Racer." Which was translation for, "if you get pulled over, I'm not driving your car back you crazy fuck."

On this drive I didn't get to enjoy Mario's company. Jeff, as usual, was passed out most of the way to Tucson. After coming out of the mountains and descending into the desert my thoughts wandered back through the entire weekend. What a weekend. I never could have imagined going to Cali without having Super here or there, and especially not under the circumstances we had just gone through. I couldn't believe it, not even then. Gravity kept my tires on the road while the sound of thousands of Cicadas whizzed past my car like electricity was forming in every living thing. Jeff stirred momentarily and I asked him if he could hear the Cicadas too. He looked at me like I was crazy.

It wasn't until we were flying along one of the long straightaways that I noticed streaks of light racing out in front of my car from the sun. The sun had been perched over my left shoulder ever since we dropped down onto the desert floor. There were a few patches of clouds lingering on both sides of the road. The sun and the sky looked completely different every few seconds I glanced out. I kept looking and looking, I must have looked back over my left shoulder a thousand times. I couldn't help but wonder why everything seemed so unusual to me this time. Why did the air seem more pure today than any other day I'd ever seen it in my life? Did the sun streaks seem more potent because my good friend was gone? Deep breath. The car looked so small on I-8. Outside my windows in every direction it was like I was looking up at the earth. Up at earth!? For a moment I forgot where we were. The air felt so oversaturated as every shade of blue filtered down through the tint, my sunglasses, and my eyes. All the edges of earth seemed to meet space right out on the horizons while I was driving. There was a calm confusion taking place. It was peaceful. I sat still while it washed over me.

I decided to grab my camera and snap some pics while I was driving. I took about 40 pictures, all from different vantage points. I was amazed at how different they all turned out over the course of an hour, given I was headed in the same direction. (If you click a picture it should open larger.) I apologize for the occasional bug splat. I had to split up the blog because of the size restriction on photos and wanted to put the best ones up.

Towards the end of the straightaway, around a couple bends, I recorded a video accompanied by the song "Beside You In Time" by Nine Inch Nails. I know Mario wasn't a huge fan of this particular album, but when the song came on it just reminded me of him so much. The lyrics had never meant something to me before then. The entire video is shot left-handed while I'm driving the car. I succumbed to YouTube so I could put the entire thing up (Blogger wanted me to compress it.) If you have a 5 minutes to spare please turn up the volume and take the time to watch it. Listed below the video are the lyrics...



I am all alone this time around
Sometimes on the side I hear a sound
Places parallel I know it's you
Feel the little pieces bleeding through

And all this goes on
And on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on
This goes on
And on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on

Now that I've decided not to stay
I can feel me start to fade away
Everything is back where it belongs
I will be beside you before long, and on,
This goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on
This goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on

We will never die
Beside you in time
We will never die
Beside you in time