MarioTV : Episode 30 : Tool

Tool : Ænema



!!!Warning: This MarioTV Episode contains explicit lyrics!!!

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless f**king hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any f**king time. Any f**king day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It's a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless f**king hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any f**king time. Any f**king day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will 'cause
I sure could use a vacation from this

Stupid shit, Silly shit, stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.

Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to swim.

F**k L Ron Hubbard and
F**k all his clones.
F**k all these gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

F**k retro anything.
F**k your tattoos.
F**k all you junkies and
F**k your short memory.

Learn to swim.

F**k smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
F**k these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

'cause I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna see it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.

I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend.

I wanna see it all come down.
put it down.
suck it down.
flush it down.

MarioTV : Episode 29 : Red Hot Chili Peppers

I won't say much about this song, except to say that the chorus reminds me very much of Mario.

Red Hot Chili Peppers : Dani California





Getting born in the state of Mississippi
Papa was a copper and mama was a hippie
In Alabama she would swing a hammer
Price you gotta pay when you break the panorama
She never knew that there was anything more than poor
What in the world does your company take me for

Black bandanna, sweet Louisiana
robbin' on a bank in the state of Indiana
She's a runner, rebel and a stunner
On her merry way sayin; baby whatcha gonna
Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal .45
Just another way to survive

California rest in peace
Simultaneous release
California show your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
YEAH, YEAH

She's a lover baby and a fighter
Shoulda seen it coming when it got a little brighter
With a name like Dani California
The day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya
A little loaded, she was stealing another breath
I love my baby to death

California rest in peace
Simultaneous release
California show your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
YEAH, YEAH

Who knew the other side of you?
Who knew that others died to prove
Too true to say good bye to you
Too true to say say say..

Push the fader gifted animator
One for the now and eleven for the later

Never made it up to Minnesota
North Dakota man was a gunnin' for the quota

Down in the badlands she was savin' the best for last
It only hurts when I laugh
Gone too fast..

California rest in peace
Simultaneous release,
California show your teeth,
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
YEAH, YEAH
California rest in peace
Simultaneous release,
California show your teeth,
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
YEAH, YEAH

In memory of Mr. Mario Frassetto, who lived one pace his entire life...

MarioTV : Episode 28 : The Hulk

This may be the only episode of MarioTV I present where there isn't something to watch. Keep reading, I'll letcha know why.

I'll never forget going to the theater with Mario to see Eric Bana portray "The Hulk."

Worst. Movie. Ever.

Not even Jennifer Connelly could save this one. About 40-45 minutes in to the movie we both turned and looked at one another with complete perplexity.

I mouthed the words "what the fuck?" First Mario had a really confused look on his face, then he immediately stifled his laughter and said, yeah JC, I was thinking the same thing. Where's the Hulk at? "Yeah," I said, "it's just a bunch of people standing around talking. There should be less talk and more Hulk."

At that point we couldn't keep in the laughter anymore, during one of the boring parts of the movie (is that possible, really? - absolute silence except the terrible atrocity playing on the screen), like a couple of 4th graders who were hopped up on Ring-Dings and soda.....we broke out with a few laughs. I should have known going in that it was going to suck because any casting director who has put Nick Nolte in a film since "Another 48 Hrs" needs to be choked out with a garden hose.

We somehow managed to stomach the rest of the film; however, to this day I've not once hesitated to answer the question of the worst movie ever made. "The Hulk" I'll quip. Now, don't be confused with 2008's "The Incredible Hulk" featuring Edward Norton - that movie was worth it. Good thing too, because I only went to see if it would tank worse than the first one. Oh, and that Liv Tyler person too...:)

-JC

MarioTV : Episode 27 : Dazed and Confused

One of Super's favorite scenes.

Dazed and Confused : I get older...they stay the same age.



!!!Warning: This MarioTV Episode contains adult content!!!

MarioTV : Episode 26 : Heat

I was introduced to 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound courtesy of Mario. He usually chose the street gunfight scene from "Heat" as his starting point, because it's a really kickass scene.

Watching it on YouTube doesn't do it much justice. If you have surround sound and have never caught the movie, put it on your Netflix queue and get on it.

Needs editing: Video No Longer Present - Click to see on YouTube

Heat : Al Pacino : Robert De Niro : Val Kilmer



In memory of Mario Frassetto, who would call shenanigans on some of the stray bullets in this scene. I never knew he was a ballistics expert...

MarioTV : Episode 25 : The Boondock Saints

The Boondock Saints was a Mario favorite. Maybe because it encompasses elements of revenge and righteousness mixed together. If you haven't seen it, check out the trailer. The video presented here is the last scene of the movie, just to give you a heads up. -Jeffy Chaucer

MarioTV rating- "R" contains explicit language and mild violence

The Boondock Saints

MarioTV : Episode 24 1/2 : The "F" Word

O.K., I found a Casino F word montage - try keeping up with the count.

!!! Warning - This MarioTV Episode is completely explicit in its language !!!

MarioTV : Episode 24 : The "F" Word

How many times can a movie drop the F bomb? Super and I tried to count how many in the movie Casino, but we stopped somewhere in the 300s with a large portion of the movie left. Well, here is a little montage from the movie Jarhead...a great movie by the way...that has to be up there at the top of movies that drop the F bomb. The clip is solely focused on the F word...it actually becomes sort of funny merely due to its excessive use.

!!! Warning - This MarioTV Episode is completely explicit in its language !!!

Video is no longer available...you are not missing much, see Casino post for same concept.

Swishing, Smiling.... Always on my Mind.

Last night I opened a new bottle of Listerine. The “whitening” kind, but a new and improved formula. It was on the shelf at Target right next to the now outdated whitening formula, but it cost a dollar more and had a different label. As I stood at the bathroom sink swishing, I thought, “Oooh, I’ve gotta tell Mario about this stuff!”

And that’s how it happens. In a flash. Daily. Some little thing like mouthwash makes me think of him. Mario: always buying the “new” product – toothpaste, conditioner, lotion, juice, frozen food, you name it. Mario, the professional consumer. Mario, the constant entertainer. Mario, the adventurous cook, the thoughtful guy or the wild friend….

You see, the old mouthwash was really foamy in your mouth…. This new one still has the wonderful whitening properties, but your cheeks don’t get all full of foam and puffed out, causing you to have to spit out some of it before continuing to swish.

Maybe it’s strange: the thing that bothers me most is the stupid little things that I know he would have liked that he never got to see. A movie I saw the preview for. The Mudvayne album coming out I know he would have been excited about. The mouthwash. The recipe I just know he would have wanted to try. Even things like new businesses opening and old ones closing. I guess it kind of bothers me that the world continues on, even though his life doesn't….

Maybe some day I’ll be able to see a slender guy on a motorcycle in traffic and not have a certain feeling that it is Mario. Maybe eventually the urge to follow him “just to make sure” will fade. Maybe a day will come when I don’t think about him every day. I can tell you that day is a long, long time from now….

MarioTV : Episode 23 : Mudvayne

Mudvayne (from L.D. 50) : Dig

!!! Warning - This MarioTV Episode contains explicit content !!!

MarioTV : Episode 22 : Mudvayne

Mudvayne (originally from L.D. 50)
(Live from By the People, for the People) : -1



!!! Warning - This MarioTV Episode contains explicit images and language !!!

MarioTV : Episode 21 : Mudvayne

Mudvayne (from The End of All Things to Come) : Not Falling

Needs editing: Video No Longer Present

!!! Warning - may or may not contain offensive material; this is Mudvayne posted by Chaucer after all !!!

Because "you know who" would agree

Just wanted to say quick birthday wishes to (easily) the best looking author on Mario's blog. Happy Birthday, Autumn! Hope your day is great and your cake/food/drink is delicious!

MarioTV : Episode 20 : Transformers

Super had some reservations when Transformers the movie came out. When the robots would have to talk, would the lines be cheesy, trying to be cute? He ended up giving the movie a thumbs-up, worthy of a look. -Jeffy Chaucer

Transformers : Whoa, nice headers.

Video removed - Sucks...just watch the movie already if you have not.

Here is the trailer also.

Finally a post of mine that is for the kids...well, sort of.

It's been awhile...

If I weren't inundated with school and work I'd have more time to write, but for now it's gonna have to be snippets. I'll be back in December after having time to collect my thoughts.

I was thinking this morning that I should just start randomly posting photos because it only takes a few minutes. This one doesn't belong to me (I believe Autumn took it) but it reminds me of the guy so much...



Mario Frassetto : April of 2005

What would Super be doing tonight?

I'm sure he'd find a way to post up in front of a TV across the bar somewhere. It's opening night for the NHL! Another championship banner will rise tonight in Joe Lewis Arena when the Leafs visit the Red Wings. What a coincidence that the Red Wings would win the title this year. If I had cable, I'd tune in...

Super Storytime : Part IV : Raising the Bar: Must Have Beer Toys

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

MarioTV : Episode 19 : Nine Inch Nails

I would be hard pressed to say what was Super's favorite NIN song - this one would have to be up there. -Jeffy Chaucer

NIN : Head Like A Hole

MarioTV : Episode 18 : Revenge of the Nerds

Super loved doing the Ogre impression from the Revenge of the Nerds. He especially loved being the Ogre when Jeff (or myself) were playing a video game he felt was rather nerdy, such as Guitar Hero. He'd walk in from his bike or down the stairs and see one of us playing...

NNNNnErrrRDS!!!

I think he did it better than the real Ogre in the movie. The Marioistic impression comes at about the 53 second mark in this clip. Enjoy!

Sorry, clip no longer there...working on it.

In memory of "Super" Mario Frassetto, who turned me on to Guitar Hero and then after I was hooked immediately started calling it "Gaytar" Hero.

Mudvayne : Fish Out of Water Lyrics

i'm a fish out of water (i'm a fish out of water)
kill me and choke on the bones (kill me and choke on the bones)
nothing seems to matter anymore
gotta get back to the reason
gotta get back to the hole
someone throw me an anchor (someone throw me an anchor)
gotta drown this disease (gotta drown this disease)
no one seems to matter anymore
gotta get back to the meaning
gotta get back to the score

buy my soul
so you can sell me
i don't need this
i don't need you
trust your lies
then you betray me
i don't need want this
i don't want you

up the creek with no paddle (up the creek with no paddle)
through the oars of a board (through the oars of a board)
no one seems to carry at all anymore
gotta get back to the evening
gotta break backs of the poor
let me tell you a secret (let me tell you a secret)
so you can tattle and leave (so you can tattle and leave)
no one holds to their honesty anymore
gotta get back to the stealing
gotta take back from the hoard

buy my soul
so you can sell me
i don't need this
i don't need you
trust your lies
then you betray me
i don't want this
i don't want...

oh

i don't want you
who do you want to be
the summit of integrity
or the bottom of filth
the dichotomy
all these fallen angels
skeletons of what they once were
hanging in the closet for the world to see
and now they're fallen angels
faced by demons on their judgement
hanging from the gallows
for us all to see it

nobody told me
nobody forewarned
nobody told me
nobody forewarned

buy my soul
so you can sell me
i don't need this
i don't need you
trust your lies
then you betray me
i don't want this
i don't want you


This is the first time in I don't know how many years that a text message hasn't come through on my phone or an email shown up in my inbox with something like, dude, Mudvayne's new album is coming out in November, check out this song, it's awesome. Because I know how much Mario Frassetto enjoyed Mudvayne's music, especially reading the lyrics when the album first came out so he knew what they were saying, I decided to post my interpretation of Mudvayne's "Fish Out of Water" lyrics from their upcoming album, "The New Game." I think Mario would like this, considering these lyrics are impossible to find on the internet...